My 16 year old daughter was diagnosed as Attention Deficit Disorder and then, at the age of 57, so was I. A lifetime of struggle was placed into a context that made sense of a lot of failure and frustration. This blog documents and celebrates what has happened to me since.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

a constant struggle....contstant and perpetual mindfulness

It's never licked.

It will last for as long as I do.

On our way to a wedding yesterday I was navigating. The schematic map was a mirror image of what it would be for North and South to be oriented as they were on paper: The words "Portland" and "Coast" at the left and right hand ends of the line representing Highway 26 were opposite of where they should have been.

But the fact is that no one else of whom I know was puzzled because no one else had a problem getting there.

We were late by ten minutes because I didn't read the words--I just looked at the lines representing the roads and told my wife to turn south when we needed to turn north.


Attention to detail. Looking but not seeing what was really there.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

new challenges

I am starting my own business...wowsers!

Sure. I am 60 years old, I have a daughter just started college, another four years behind her. I have a good job with good pay and good benefits. Hey, I think I'll become a consultant.

An accountant I talked to about handling my books argued with me about the wisdom of doing this but his wisdom was all dollars and cents and lacked sense or even a sense of what was at stake for me.

This raises a lot of issues for me, of course, but I want to comment on the ADD piece of this--and it's actually only one ADD piece of this, for me.

It's about transitions.

Everyone knows ADD is about attention span and impulse and all that. But few appreciate how much it's about the difficulty of making transitions. A therapist I know, who works with children, told me that ADD and ADHD folks make transitions like drivers shift gears without a clutch.

The truth of that is something I contend with every day. Short attention span and impulse control--sure, sure, sure. But I linger, sometimes, with a project, rather than move on to another. That's often as big a challenge for me.

The whole thing about starting a business--especially a one person business--implicates all the difficulties created by being ADD.

It's not about the dollars and the cents. It's about the sense, and the sense of it. It's about a lifetime of self developed therapy that takes the oddest forms, at times.

About Me

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I am a convinced Beanite Friend, a member of Bridge City Friends Meeting, Willamette Quarterly Meeting and North Pacific Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends. Notwithstanding the doubts of some who claim the name, I am a Christian who does a Buddhist practice and believes that God talks to everyone, all the time. I have worked in the judicial branch of government, as well as being a trial lawyer, a public school teacher (counselor and coach), a kite merchant, and a Marine Corp Sergeant. I am currently working as a consultant to public and private agencies on issues of child welfare, juvenile justice, and substance abuse treatment courts.